Unwanted Thoughts

2009-10-09T22:47:00.003+08:00

Come to a standstill.
Look around.
Embrace what you've neglect.
Mourn what you treasure.

Cause life can just re-route without signals.

and you're the blind who's been crossing it all this while.

Final post for the flawed yet perfect memories.

2009-09-19T02:22:00.002+08:00

Do not be expendable.
Be worth it.
Life's a challenge?? Challenge back.

Karma is an excuse for the weak.
Fate can do only so much, the rest is man-made will.

Now prove your worth.
Exist cause you pave your way, not crawl.

And do not follow.
Neither do you have to lead.
You don't have to inspire.
All you have to do is.. live.

Actions do not only sound louder than words.
Action solidifies it.
So stop talking shit, and start dealing hits.

Keep moving.
Keep moving.
Keep bloody moving.

2009-08-16T14:29:00.000+08:00

Got a smack to the face by reality.

"Time waits for no man"

So what is considered a standstill moment?

I sure as hell don't know.
So, let's re-route.
I'm gonna get ahead of time.
And stop it.
Take a picture.

And laugh.

Now let's get sidetracked for abit.

"It's big balling baby when i'm courting you."

HAH.

Nonsensical. -_-

2009-06-29T10:03:00.001+08:00

National Service-ing.
Ahhhhh welll.
It's already dead anyway....

Bye!

:)

2009-06-09T13:25:00.003+08:00

I remembered rolling around a lot.
Hoping darkness will just consume me whole.
Tears me apart the way the brain worked.
To think that it was all a nightmare was just absurd.
Cause dreams do come through silver linings.
Light at the end of every tunnel.
Sunshine right after the perfect storm.
Salvation might be scarce but we salvage what we can grasp.
We believe in what we can see and touch.
But never what was always there.
Put it on a pedestal when the air smells of rich green grass and when the wind blows with serenity.
Burn it down to the ground when the grass rots brown and the wind suffocates.
It is absurd to even consider possibilities .
Life has too many roads that when one closes, there are always 20 000 more re-routes.
And when 20 000 closes, we have the tools to construct our own path.
To build our own foundation.
To light our own way.
But we choose to follow.
We choose to conform to what society classifies as right and wrong.
We believe what 100 000 others believes.
Cause if you're different, then eccentric will automatically be your middle name.
So what is the peace that we keep looking for?
Is it inside? outside?
Does it even exist at all?
Existence is what makes the mind reach the brink of insanity.

People end lives to stop the pain.
Mothers go through pain to bring life to the world.

Thus, a leverage.
Life cannot survive if it does not co-exist with pain.
Pain is a part of life.
We cannot detest it.
Neither can we ignore it.

Therefore, i must be resilient.
I must adapt.
I must flow.

And i must withstand whatever it is that makes me a better man at the end of the day.

Life is a book with no chapters.
Pain is the divider that we need.

I embrace it.

2009-05-10T11:23:00.002+08:00

I think trust is quite important.
It sets the honesty and sincerity of a relationship.
It filters out diamonds from rocks.
Even the smallest grain will be taken away.

Smallest.

Relationships don't actually mean love ones only.
Family. collegues and everything else.
Trust is a principle that's instilled in you.
The ones that you take with you everywhere.

So twist those tounges and break those teeths, cause i'm starting to doubt.

Doubt can cripple a man's thinking, demolish his values and endanger his well-being.
God give me strenght to go the distance, i pray.

2009-04-21T00:03:00.002+08:00

I am poetic.
I have passion for music.
I perform.
I make music.
I make my lines mean something to someone.
And most of the time, the lines mean something to me.

I don't try to party cause i know i don't fancy it.
I don't rap about a milli cause i sure as hell don't got that.
I don't rap about jet planes, guns, drugs, booze, girls cause... this is Singapore.
And i don't try to imitate my passion with them rappers from New York.

Now you tell me.
Where are your roots?
You got performances lining up one by one.
But you perform the same music, to the same crowd, with the same people.
And you never once did appreciate where it all came from.

I'm not claiming that i made an impact in your life.
But others did.
Others you decided was not as... passionate as you are.
Cause we're busy.
We got school.
We got work.
We got other commitments.

Ahhh yes, you'll come punching back with the "I got work to knee-gro.." shit.
I can't really argue with that.
Thus, i applaud your level of commitment.

I got sources.
Walls got ears.
And you happened to be whispering to the wrong wall.
Or might i say.. complaining.

Thus, i say this.
Live the life you've always wanted.
With no distraction.
Don't hold a name to your back when you know you're pinning your wings with it.

I make music cause i love it.
I got passion.
I got game.
But i don't have the need to make money out of it.
To make household brand names.
To make clothing lines.
To make the most dopest clan in SG.

We dope in out own ways.
Thus, i kindly suggest that you don't run your mouth.
Cause you might just find out how dope i can be when i'm in your face.

Fuck swagger.
Fuck punchlines.
Fuck rhymes.

Persistance and heart.
Same rules apply for survival everywhere, son.

2009-04-15T00:22:00.004+08:00

Dear future me,
When you read this, reminisce and ask yourself why you chose to work as an Isetan promoter.
Ask yourself why did you pass up on the customer service job?
Ask yourself why did you think that you needed a challenge.
Ask yourself what the hell were you thinking climbing up those never ending racks?

Finally,
Remind yourself that money makes everything seem alot more.... satisfying.

HAHA.

"Money ain't a thing, Bitch that's a lie.
It only controls every bitch that's alive."

Okok. This might sound weird. I miss Bella, Edward, Jacob, Renesmee, the whole of the Cullens and everything.

Haha. i'm suffering from twilight-fever.
Midnight sun, come out sooon.
And the 4th edition to Eragon.
Where in the blue hell are you?

Books are a curse.

Done. :)

2009-02-01T01:24:00.002+08:00

I had a meeting with an NTU undergraduate who's majoring in business just now.
and the points that i took back home... or should i say point.. is:

"i'm not hoping for much after i graduate in 1 year time anyway. the recession is really overwhelming and is predicted to last for the next five or six years."

five or six years.

and i thought National Service was my way out.
fuck.
fuck.

fuck.

2009-01-31T00:27:00.003+08:00

Honestly, witnessing a real human falling from the 7th storey and looking at blood gushing from her skull is not exactly the same as what you experience when you're watching..hmmm...lets say..CSI or any of quentin tarantino movies.

your breathing gets heavy.
your mind just wants to believe that everything that's happening around you is not real.
you're cursing cause the ambulance was late...even though deep down you knew that she was gone.

no matter how many times you call out.
no matter how you want to try to save someone.
it's as if it was better that you weren't there.
you know.. so that you don't have to deal with the after-trauma.

bedok police station was an experience.
cool place.. CID's running around everywhere.
but the other dudes at the reception and counters are not as welcoming as you might assume they would be.
nonetheless, gave my statement and left.

and the best part about it... if there's a lead in the investigation... another statement. -_-

but soon after that, over to yenyen's to paint her room.
soft lavender.
i agree with her mum though.
much much brighter and optimistic feeling to the whole room now.
yes yes.. clean and neat. :)

and to end the day on bitter note, we saw a cat that had to drag itself everywhere it went.
cause the back hind legs are both damaged.
the damn agony.
he was dragging himself away when we approached him.
couldn't bring myself to look any point further beyond that.

i just hope that it was a freak of nature that he ends up in that state.
not man-made.

its not cool to lose your life over simple chores like cleaning the window or retrieving bamboo poles. do be conscious alright homosapians?

2009-01-29T00:25:00.002+08:00

You tend to draw an imaginary line.
You know.. the in-crowd on one side, the rest on the other.
Then, you'll get comfortable in your own shoes.
Forgetting that feets do grow over time.
That all good things might just end over time.
That one day, you'll realize that you're on the other side of it all without even detecting the shift.

Principles, beliefs, words, promises.. some things that you held on to to confirm that the your position is in place.
that it can't be traded, sold.. replaced.
like a hierarchy system in a company's management organizational chart.
lose your momentum and there you go plunging from board of directors to a simple guy/girl who works in a cubicle, surviving the savaging world of business.

i'm getting off-track. -_-

So for my future self when i actually go through my archives, i shall release the confessions withing thee body:

i made myself this way.
consequences roll with bliss.
parts and parcel of a normal human's life-cycle.

i admit, i haven't been the best of everything.
not to say that i didn't try.
but drifting is life.
things corrode and break.
loosen and decompose.
hanging on will only bring calamity in smallest ways.

so we'll see where the river drifts.
cause for what i can see, i've passed the waterfall.
and i'm just waiting for the next big one. :)

A prosperous happy new year to the chinonets.

cheers. :)

2009-01-06T14:13:00.007+08:00

Catched the Song of the Sea with a few of my friends the other day. And it was breathtaking.

When was the last time that you saw something for the first time in your life?

wahwhahwhawa.

I'm growing quite fond of hanging out at Sky Garden

Eventhought the journey back home is a daunting task.

Mum, get me this robot and i swear i won't ask for anything else till the end of the year. Its a freaking lifesize model of Freedom Gundam siaaaa!!

Yenny and Buubuu has this same trait going on: They love hibernating. And believe you me, for long long looooooong hours. :)

ahhhhh yes. That's Buubuu. :)

2009-01-04T15:07:00.002+08:00

Venting my anger in an entry and hoping that it'll help soothe the pain.

My god.

I tried to fall but i just won't move.

I tried to convince myself that there was clouds and netting beneath me.

but i am lying to myself.

I'll burn, scar, pierce, tear myself apart.

But none can comprehend to the feelings raging inside.

I can scream all i want.

But it falls on deaf ears.

And will never escape this tormented walls.

I can do all that is right in this world.

Only to get more and more distortion in my wave of life.

I distort my life.

I am dependent.

I am weak.

I am the man who can be move with just a blink.

and i am sick of that.

Why do i put my head low?

Why do i even bother to try?

I thought i had limits.
But i prolong the pain.

I thought i could endure.

But all i do is just let it all fade away.

I'm letting myself fade away.

I'm letting life take life from me.

questions will be ignored.

It is a thin line between and emo post and a sentimental one for you dumbfucks right?

2008-12-17T01:43:00.001+08:00

We got a hamster.

His name is buubuu.
and do not be deceived.

He is from the deepest region of hell.
Really.
HELL.

:)

Nahhh. Way too adorable i must say.

Now what would mum say when she meets him tomorrow? *Reaches for ear plug*

:)

Dino the monster. -_-

2008-12-16T00:57:00.003+08:00

My 19th birthday was...perfect.
At least it was to me.

GOSH!

I really thought it was only gonna be me with Yenny and Zahid. But then, she had to plan a bigger picture. Thus, one by one, they came in. Chaz, Fatal, Hel and Aphyik. Then it was the whole of F2DM and Sphyntrix plus Dino. Whawhahwah.

i was really really surprised for the first few minutes. Couldn't even thank and speak properly sia. And there are only a few occasions where the damn cat got my tounge. This was the most epic one of all.

So, Thank you F2Dm. Thank you Spynthrix. Thank you DSC. Thank you zahid.
Last, and never ever will be the least, Thank you yenny momeney. Whawhawhaw.

I'm blessed.
And i hope i can reciprocate everything that happened.

Much love to those who remembered. Much much love.

:)

2008-12-10T22:52:00.003+08:00

It is really pissing me off.

i wanna be sylar. Bad. good. bad again.
Fuck laaa. God, make me bad. Even if its for 1 minute of my life.

I don't like following rules anymore.
I wanna have blood on my hands.
Alcohol in my veins.
Tattoos on my skin.
Piercings everywhere.
I wanna stare and whack people i don't like.
Club every single fucking night.
Talk about girls as if they're just meat.
Watch porn like its Kiddie movies.
Bang around.
Have those whacky wild out parties.
Get in trouble with the authorithy.
Bitch about people.

oh wait.

that means i'll exactly be like you dumbfucks.
hah.

I wanna stick to being Sylar only.
Carefree with lots of powers to kill all sorts of people.

oh oh, god, more patience for me please. Thank you. :)

No questions to this entry. I just feel fucked-up menacing tonight.

2008-12-10T09:44:00.002+08:00

Celebrating Hari Raya Haji over at that concrete house was much more better than i expected it to be. Being wrestled by those little buggers, standing near the sacrificial pit, talking to aunts and uncles that i meet only twice a year(and yes, i'm not proud of that. -_-) and just by sitting around at level 2 and asking, or more like implying, that everyone, be it primary 1 or NS, has a girlfriend or boyfriend. absolute ecstacy on my part. :)

I'm grateful for the family that i have. The kins that are related to me. The people who share the same blood that i have. I know i know. I'm still protected from the family problems. But our time will come soon. what a draaaag. -_-

kapkunkaaaaaaai saaaawaaadeeeeee...KAP!"
*thrust elbow into ayie's guts*

wahwhahwahw!

:)

2008-12-05T13:50:00.000+08:00

This is seriously pissing me off.

ok bye.

2008-11-30T23:46:00.007+08:00

Yes yes. Been having the means to update this abandoned space but fatigue and time seems to get the best of me these days. But, with motivation, which is more like blackmail..ok.. sweet blackmail, by someone who just can't seem to get enough of flora and fauna.. here goes!

Friday was nicely spent at botanic garden. It was more like trekking than sightseeing. But when was the last time that you did something for the first time in your life? Thus, a place that's always been there might be the place that'll open doors to a world that's much much more serene. By the way, the previous line made way more sense in my head then in this entry. -_-

Ahhhh yes. The photographer was telling me to move my head counter-clockwise and that i should tilt more to the left and that i should look up or not there or not here. But it was frolicking good fun. Cause by defying authority, you get screamed at in a nice bubbly way. :)

And no, we don't seem to get tired of making those abnomally silly faces. But i posted this one for sweet revenge purposes. :) oh! no more eyebags. Nyahahahaha.

She did a collage! She did a collage! And might i say she did a good one while she's at it. HEHE.
Yes ma'am we'll plan more outings to the botanic in the near future ok? Let's make a routine!

Over to your area first!
Lunch at KFC!
Get snacks from cold storage!
Taxi ride!

Life is cool now. Just bracing myself for storms that are yet to come. & embracing the moment that i know will make the best of me.

And hoping that MP will end soon too. With flying colours. But soon.

To F2DM, all the best for the competition! Dance till your feets get swollen ok?

Told you i take good pictures. :)

2008-11-21T00:11:00.002+08:00

Let's do this!

RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

RULE #2 Tag 5 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people.

Ezzat was tagged by Yenny.

1. Do you have secrets?

Lots of it. Weeehoo.

2. Would you fall in love with a boy/girl younger than you?

Whyyyy not. :)

3. How long do you intend to wait for someone u really love?

A really really really long time.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?

I'd invest and make it like... 10 BILLION! Really. I would.

5. Things that occupy you?

TV does the job quite well. Plus books. And projects. But i gotta say books. Oh. And going out. With worthwhile company. :)

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?

Being loved by someone. Hey! It's a cycle. So both ways is bliss. :)

7. List out 10 favourite things that u like;

Rapping, Reading, Bestfriends, Snooker, Arranging music by album and artist in my Itouch, TV, Sleeping, Long bus rides, PSP and a plain old good conversation.

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?

I kinda not try to fall for attached girls. uhuuh uhuuh uhuuh.

9. Is there anything that has made you extremely happy?

Quite a few. Dancing for the first time did. HAHA. Sarah Atiqah Bte Md Sah is an ass though.

10. What makes you sad?

Unfair treatments. Unreasonable social thinking. Racist views. Poverty. War. Must i continue?

11. How would you see yourself in 10 years time?

Working. Hopefully with my own company. *Crosses Fingers*

12. Who is currently the most important people to you?

Mum, Dad, Tsun, Ezzah, Zahid, Sarah, Yenny.

13. What is being regarded as the most important thing in your life?

Humility. Not ego. More to pride.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?

Single and rich. Hey, why start a family when you can't support it... right?

15. What is your favourite colours?

Brown! :)

16. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, and both of them do the same, who would you pick?

I...would... :)

17. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?

Yup yup. But there will be problems in the communications department right after that though.

18. What do you want to tell the someone you like?

I like you. very much.

19. If there is a choice between lover and friends, which will you choose?

Friends if there's nothing to love. Love if it feels right. :)

20. Do you believe that there's "True Love"?

Mum and dad potrays that every single day. :)

5 people:
Sarah, Ayie, Izza, Nadia, YOU! (If time's a bitch though).

i'm doneeee! :)

2008-11-07T11:01:00.003+08:00

You finally bear true emotions.
And the features were hideous.

Why cling on when i'm labelled a failure?

Dreams, ambitions, purpose, achievements.
Fruitless.

I bear the mark that i burned.
I bear witness to the downfall of it all.

The world is cruel.
Would i be treated different if i was born with different features?
No.
Perfect features.
Would the world stop and notice?

I am what i am.
I bath in sorrow.
I swallow misery.

You wouldn't last 5 minutes in my shoes.

Now watch me.

2008-10-27T23:38:00.002+08:00

Today was... nice.
All my 3 bestfriends together.
hehe!

its been awhile since i had a good laugh with wonderful company.
and sarah.....its good that you're feeling what you're feeling now.
my iqa is all grown up nowwww! nyahahaha.

okok.
so it seems like people just don't seem to be as courteous as they use to be.

Here's the situation:
kau stare kawan aku mcm kawan aku hutang mak kau nasi lemak
kita stare balik
kau complain ngan kawan kau
kawan kau ada muka nak ckp dia nak cari kawan aku kat luar?

Berbual tak jalan, tembak tak kena.

Tame down your ego before someone tames it for you.
Nak berbual ada cara sikit.
Things could have been settled with just a simple talk.

but noooooooo:
"Eh! Jangan sampai aku nampak kau kat luar ah"

kau nak buat ape kalau kau nampak kita kat luar??
OH WAIIIT!
We were outside.
right in front of your fucking face.

and you sticked with your own clique instead of backing your fucking words.

again,
Berbual tak jalan, tembak tak kena.

Oh sotong,
why do you even bother picking a fight with pussies? -_-

you know whaat,
break a leg. :)

2008-10-25T01:27:00.002+08:00

So today marks the end of attachment.
Yes yes, good and bad memories. Made everything a worthwhile experience.

Thank you Jerry, Leo Andrew David, Neny, Rainie, Sonia, Zee, Sha, Dee, Amy, Dave, Nick, Susan, Ping Liang, Ken, Mike, JASON VOON Elaine, Ben, Hiew, Jason choo and hong, Alwyn, Tham and anyone else that i didn't mention. Thank you for the experience. Thank you for taking the time to teach. Thank you for the good times. The bad times. Thank you for SIP. Thank you for sungai buloh. Thank you for signal testing. Thank you for everything.

Thank you for the company and the experience.
Appreciate it all! See you guys on the 31st! :)

Funny Story what happened next. Best friends were all busy with their own stuffs. So i gave a call to mum to celebrate. AND!
She said yes. LIKE FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER! -_-

haha..

and she surprised me with Vanessa. :)

touch touch touch.

hehe.

Thank you! :)

now onwards, Major project.
Then another attachment.
heck.
At least it keeps me moving.

and oh, i miss the time when we'll sing bubbly with you making the imitations.
really really.
:)

2008-10-13T23:52:00.002+08:00

It got too emotional.
Wayyyy too emotional. Believe me. I didn't expect it to turn out that way.

Like mentioned before, i love you like my sister.
Like my own flesh and blood.
Like what zach said,

"Kalau kau dah rapat ngan dia to the extent yang kau betul2 percaya dia, dia dah macam saudara, bukan kawan lagi"

Yes, i don't have cousins like you guys.
But i sure as hell am counting my lucky stars that i got you two as my bestfriends.
So please do pardon my natural reaction to try to protect you like i wanted to.
okok.
I know that you don't need me smothering all over you like that.

Yes, i trust that you can handle your problems.
Yes, i trust that you know how to handle situations.

But you can't blame me for wanting to butt in to give you my shoulders to be leaned on right right right?

So ducky ducky,
we need an outing.

me you and him.

we just need to spend time together.
Trust me, we have fucking loads to catch up on.
And some air to settle.

so please please please.

Put whatever happened behind us.
and just smile as if we just won the million dollar lottery.

Ok.. abang zahid will ask us to donate that money even if we win the damn lottery. :p

what say you, babes?

2008-10-02T21:33:00.002+08:00

It's Hari Raya.
But it sure don't feel like it.

True what they say, the older you get, the more..routine-ish it seems.

And i'm only 18 for pits sakes.

Anyways, Selamat Hari Raya to all. :)

the more it seems that i have control of my life, the more it slips away.

2008-09-06T11:36:00.002+08:00

Seniority doesn't necessarily means maturity.
I bear responsible for my mistakes and i do not point.

As stupid as the saying goes, it does make sense:
"Point one at me, Three will be pointing at you"

So no matter how many times you screw me up..
No matter how many times you conspire to further screw me up..
No matter how many times you think incompetence is my middle name..

well, i don't actually care.

I'll be gone in 6 months, and hell yeah, i am gonna screw up every single thing then. :)

Now onwards to dreams,
Ever experience being tore apart and eaten alive?
Then waking up covering in sweat?
Finding yourself cowering at the far end of your bed, shivering, even though you knew that you were awake?

No one should ever dream what i dreamt.
No one.

By god, i am still afraid.

done.

2008-08-22T12:38:00.002+08:00

I was torn, broken and irrepairable.
I always thought that something that bad can never happen.
It did.
It did.
and it fucking did.

haha.

Beyond the anger, beyond the heartache, beyond the mental torture.
There's truth.
There's reason.
There's salvation.

Salvation.
In a form that i never thought it'd come in.

I love you.
And i know now..
that i mean it.
more than anything that is truth in this life.

:)

byebye!

2008-08-01T12:26:00.002+08:00

A mundane moment in the office might prove to be fruitful for the mind.
It can start with a cup of milo by your side and this brain of yours will do the rest for you.
So it has been awhile since i did update this god-forsaken space of mine.

So why not?
:)

It's been a month since i started working here and so far, its all going smoothly.
There is those bad apple moments once in awhile but it moulded my perception on "Professionalism"
The key to it is: Don't get yourself invovled in office politics. But if you are, join the stronger team.

HEHE!

But heck, you monsters know thats the key to survival.

Another topic that's been racking on this brain of mine: People.
Yes yes. People change.
God decided to make it more interesting by not showing the person her/himself that they're changing.
Pandai kan?

Advantages to that will be you'll be moving forward in life and it turns you into someone new.
Disadvantage is it's a risk. The line between good and bad has been blurred and to add salt to it, we are partially blind. Oh don't you deny it. Even when we know something is bad, we choose to close our eyes. Grrrr.

However, we stray true to our judgement. We know it's right, even though it might seem wrong to others, but it's a tick in our book.

So here's my two cents:

DO NOT judge someone by one or two actions that he does.

Fuck this. Let's be abit more specific.
Example: A dude, who happens to be courteous to girls, is not a flirt.
You motherfuckers better fucking-ly confirm that he's fucking flirting before you fuckingly go gossip like the bitches you are. :)
Have you ever stopped to wonder whether he's emotionally attached to someone and you saying stupid things like this might damge their relationship?
WAIT! Let's strike this one out. If you were thinking from the start, you would have mind your own fucking business.

laaaaaa. Nanti dorg start pula: "ejat kenakan aku ehhhhh. Alaaa. Kita main2 je sey.. Dia blog seyy pasal aku"

haha. I don't even wanna start with this one.

Oh, bro, i might be interacting with girls but i don't know all of them. OH! Let me put it in your term. I don't flirt with all of them laaa bro. Crystal? :)

"I thought you knew here since he mentioned that ejat know's her."
haha.
I'm flattered.
I really am.

Now go ahead and blog about this.

2008-07-21T14:03:00.002+08:00

It was a blow to the soul when the words were even read.
I won't sugercoat.. It was attrocious.
Anger reacted with anger is a mixture for disaster.

I apologize.
I never had did intention to make you feel that way.
Maybe there is truth in the words spoken.

I'll try my best from now on.
I will.

Dumbass, i love you too much as a sister to leave.
So please stop thinking that way.

bestfriend.

2008-07-15T15:47:00.004+08:00

Social life is destroyed.
Work, work and work is consuming me whole.
But nahhh, there is still abit of fresh air here and there.
:)
yes yes, fresh air with KFC and a cat.
nyahahaha.

I don't dare say that we can go through every storm easily by just talking about it.
Cause the latest one nearly left me broken.
Hence,
hold on to the words.
hold on to the promises.
hold on to me.
cause i'm never letting you go.

And if you're judging, you can't.
Cause you concocted the poison.
Now enjoy the taste.
Before it claims your soul.

done.

2008-06-15T21:01:00.002+08:00

Yes, it is impossible to feel the vicious cycle if you're a rapper in Singapore.
You perform.
You make music.
You record.
You buy the clothes and accessories to fit the image.
You perform again.
You record again.

And that's about it.

No record deals.
No major publicity.
Not even a proper announcing of you or your group.

Well, i'll like to beg to differ to the point that i have just raised.
Yes, we may not be living it the way them rappers do it at the states.
We may not be having fans grabbing us on the streets.
We may not be drinking the finest, smoking the illest or even wearing those legit stuffs.

but.

We got passion.
Well, i'm sure that's what i have.
Passion.
and the intentions to make friends.
Friends.

Ego may be the factor that drives people.
But it may either drive you to the top or to the grave.
And if you do manage to get to the top, it overcomes you.
You'll not be the same person that you wish to be.
You realize that everything is just an act.
That the stage isn't the ones you stand on with the mic.
IT becomes the ground you very well stand on once you're off the stage.
Life becomes... fake.
You'll always be trying to live up to the image you make up in your head.
It destroys the very foundation you built.
The ones that was the actual factor that brought you where you are.

I take my hats off to those who just make music... cause they want to.
No strings attach.

Money is essential.
I don't deny that.
But once it corrupts, you're gone forever.

Rapping is a hobby.
Dome Squad Clique is the brothers and sister, apart from having a biological one in it, that i never had.
Don't mean that we're not rapping that we ain't crewmates.

Bad Boy:
"We ride together, we die together"
Dome Squad For Life.

ejat.

2008-06-11T01:27:00.002+08:00

My 150th post.
Right after Veronica got well.
wahwahhwa.

So school's over.
And it went by fast.
It seems like yesterday when i was updating about school just starting.
The class will be miss though.
Best one i've had so far.

Life seems to be... constant.
Maybe not the right word to explain it.
But how the hell are we pathetic humans suppose to describe it.
Besides the normal life is like the sea and Ups and Downs shit..
Constant seems to be... Neutral. :)

I need sponsors for an upcoming gig.
and i hardly know anything about capturing a sponsor.
anyone experienced out there.
If you do happen to have time......
maybe share an advice or two.
:)

Ok.
Viwawa awaits!

Bye!

2008-06-04T00:29:00.003+08:00

Why do people play with fire?

Cause they love the heat.
But they can't stand the pain.

and they'll end up burning the ones close to them.
let's say..
a devoted girlfriend.

Despicable.
Deplorable.

And worst,
i was on the same stage with you.

2008-06-01T11:09:00.002+08:00

Popcorn playa was.. good.
hehe.

Congratulations to Da Fam for hosting their very first gig.
And thank you for letting us be a part of it!
one voice one mic!:)

After the show, we drove around town to figure out which KFC to go to..
Settled for Marina Square.
Ate.
Then it was on to Lim Chu Kang.

Ghost hunting is.. lame.
-_-

and i don't know what to talk about already.
pfft.

bye! ;)

2008-05-29T12:14:00.002+08:00

One more shot.

Love is,

when you received a message, you'll turn the phone facing down to anticipate the moment, knowing that the person is she.

when there's a call, you'll try to sound as if you're laid back when you know she can hear you smile.

when you're out together, a moment of her glimpsing in an unknown direction for awhile will leave you.. uncomfortable.

laughter seems to be the company even when the tide is down. you'll find yourself making up even the most stupidest things just to see her smile. (e.g. Recycling water trash bin)

when you're having a bad day, you'll only want that person to know that you are. you don't want her consolation. you just want her presence.

when you're mad at her, you want her to notice. you want her to make a big hoo haa over it, which in the end, will lighthen your load.

when she's lying on your chest, her head fits perfectly.

when she inhales, you wanna inhale.
when she exhales, you do too.

you find that stroking her hair and watching her sleep is heartwarming.

you realize that you want to be the only one.
to hold her.
to kiss her.
to hug her.
for her to need.
for her to touch.
for her to kiss and hug.
for her to embrace.
for you to embrace.

for love.

i don't know what love is.
but i know what i want.

they say it's about letting the other half have the last piece of chocolate.
they say it's the longing for each other.
others say its just a matter of give and take.

well i say, lets stop defining it.
and start feeling it.

cause i am now.
:)

2008-05-28T23:44:00.002+08:00

Life's just going in a mellow sorta wayy now.
Assignments are being handed up one by one.
Interviews are being screwed up and done well.
and congkak scared the bejeezus out of me!

i warn you, oh humans..
DO NOT WATCH THAT MOVIE.

or maybe she's right.
maybe i'm just too much of a scaredy cat.

BUT WHO FREAKING CARES!

it really is... scary.
ayie will definitely agree.
kan ayie kan?
hehe.

:)

dah.
i wanna go hide under the blanket.
BYE.

And stop being an ass yenny!
-_-

2008-05-26T23:37:00.002+08:00

Today..was..rough.
and tomorrow's not going to be any better.

take off that blindfold.
please.

i'm dying here.

dramatic.
i know.
i give you 2 seconds in my shoes.
and you'll be as dramatic as i am now.

done.

2008-05-21T22:49:00.002+08:00

My fingers are dying to type.
but something is stopping it.

why am i limited?
why can't i just be blunt like how the rest are?
why can't i just speak my mind out?

let's give it a try.

i went jogging.
and guess what.
i've just deleted all the vulgar languages that i wanted to type down after typing 'i went jogging'
but nahh. i'll pass.

and then.....
it all happened.
so goddamn fast.

i punched.
i sprinted.
i kicked.
i overexterted this useless body.

but the mind..just..wouldn't..stop..

it's starting to scar all over again.

2008-05-19T17:43:00.002+08:00

After weeks of agony.
Lost in thoughts.
Drifting from life.

it's all over.
and it's all good. :)
thank you. again.

i'm the lead actor plus spectator.
the lead actor when i'm relieving the role.
a spectator when i can't possibly do anything else and just watch how it unfolds.
now that's scrutiny.
a contradiction.
talk about the change of authority in seconds.

but crap.
i'm a spectator now.
so lets sit down and watch.

do what you must.
i either harden up or dissolve.
take your pick.

cause i'm not choosing anymore.

2008-05-12T00:24:00.002+08:00

Today was mother's day.
and mum practically told me not to do anything for her cause she wants to save the emotional phases.
wahwhawhaw.
boleh mcm gitu.
but heck.
i just gave her a side hug and wished.
how can i not love that woman?
:)

and then it was off with projects.
took the whole morning to get it done.
talked on the phone and slept my ass off the rest of the day.
woke up.
went out.
played at the arcade.
played taiti.
smoked.
went home.
finished up project.
handed it up.
and now blogging.
:O

tomorrows the starting of the 4th week.
which means i got 3 more weeks of school.
hmmmm.
seems fair.
but somehow i don't want it to end.
I M Logaraj.
get well soon!
:)

and now.
i'm elated.
ecstatic.
euphoric.
happy.
why?

ADAAAAA AHHH.

i'm done.
God did answer my prayers. :)

2008-05-10T00:03:00.002+08:00

Our fear is not that we are inadequate.
It is that we know we are brilliant.. Perfect.
But we are very much afraid to acknowledge.
So, why can't we be what we want to be?

With flaws all opened up, i hate this phase.

You will never understand.

ever.

2008-05-09T00:45:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i can't explain my actions.
You see, i'm the type that reacts according to how my feelings tell me too.
sometimes things turn out right..
sometimes it soaks the whole situation with gasoline...
and my words may turn out to be the matchstick.

but you can mark my words on one thing,
i do this to people i trust.
people who i know will be there for me.
people i love and hold dear to me.

so yes, i hypocrite to others.
i'll say the exact opposite of what i was suppose to say to them.
i'll just smile when i should be frowning.
and i'll just turn and walk away if things just gets abit out of hand.
believe me, it's not that i don't care.
i just find it really redundant that i should bear my soul everytime shits happen.

there is a realization..
i'm never open.
i don't bother that much.
i don't even want to think about it.

but when it comes to you,
it seems different.
it seems as if i just want to do you right.
cause i know.. this is right.

and i know you know that this is right.
and i should probably stop confusing you huh.
:)

all right.
i updated!
grrr! -_-

goodbye world.

2008-05-07T17:58:00.002+08:00

i'm kind of like a practical guy.
seeing is believing.
touching makes the whole myth solid.
so yes, pardon me for not believing in your superstitious crap that you threw.

i know i know.
it can be an insult if someone just don't believe what you believe.
wait..
different religions.. have you ever heard of that?

lets move one.

writer's block.

i'm done.

2008-05-01T01:01:00.002+08:00

So days passed by..
And the first week of school is done!
To find out that i'm left with only 6 weeks of studying then Attachment then major project is a downfall.
Cause i finally figure out something...
I don't wanna stop studying.
It keeps the mind going.
It keeps the time occupied.
And it keeps giving me a constant sense of purpose in life...
And i find that reason cheap and pathetic....
But heck.. its the truth.

Nonetheless,
school is a blast so far.
smoking sessions keeps us alive.
Mat food.
Mensa food.
Movies.
Badmintons.
Loga.
Desmond.
Kumar.
Ngohhh.
hahaha.
Its all good.
:)

The thing about life is.. you make decisions and you never look back.
Making wrong decisions is way better than staying stagnant at one point.
and if you wanna look back, look back to learn from it, not to re-live it.

Took me a while to grasp the whole essence of these words.
But its kinda making sense now.
To say that i didn't make decisions that i regret is an understatement.
To say that i've learnt from there sounds much better.

Yes, i might be waking up everyday with something etching at the back of my mind.
Like a parasite.
A shadow that haunts and taunts me relentlessly.
Time will be my saviour, my shield and and my salvation.
lets just hope time itself doesn't turn its back on me.

Oh, did i mention that i have my very own nuraliza osman?
:)

done.

2008-04-24T00:06:00.002+08:00

So school has started.
The first few days were a bit of a bore.
But i've managed to pull through.
Count on me to be optimistic i guess.

Me and Kumar decided on something!
and i think i'm up for it.
maybe its gonna be good.
maybe it'll last.
maybe it won't.
but i'll give it a shot.
might never know when my lucky stars are shining extra bright huh.

AND FINALLY.
i got to play FF7 crisis core.
Only thing is...
I HATE THE DAMN GAMEPLAY.
what happened to the old rpg mannn.
when you actually had to plan your every move.
pfft.
the world is advancing too fast i guess.

i guess i'll stop here.
PSP and phone call awaits.
nyahahaha.
i've updated...OK? =)

and yeahhh, i did something productive today.
wahahwhaw.
proud as hell...
over something so miniscule.
talk about a silver lining.
-_-

and i can't believe you're gonna be older than me.. again.....!
urgh.

Done.

2008-04-20T01:27:00.001+08:00

God did give me one solution:
Me.

Now, what should i do with the solution?

2008-04-12T00:36:00.001+08:00

Contender Asia Contender Asia.
Here i come.

Tsun, Doc and Myself.

Champion does what a champion say, numsayin'?

2008-04-10T23:42:00.002+08:00

I can rag on and on about how bitchy life is.
But somehow, it just don't change things.
Yes. I know. Changes come from us.
But what if you just can't make the change?

well, you live with that scar i guess.

Seems like i've been rotating the other way.
I can't seem to convey what they're saying.
Maybe i have a problem comprehending with people's judgement.
Well, as block headed as i am, i do know what's right and wrong.

if i didn't, i'd be making bad decisions in life. right?

But hear this..
They say the more bad decisions you make, the more you learn,
And the more you learn, the more you know how to live life the right way.
So is life an investment?
Where we lose lose and lose to gain in the long run?
But what if there is no gain?
What if its lose lose lose then bankruptcy?

Yes it sucks whenever you have to think of the long term effect of a decision that you're making.
Cause you will never ever know how it will turn out.
It'll either go your way...
or you just find yourself empty handed.
So think?
Are you holding on to a glass of water which is at your disposal?
Or onto ice, melting ice, one that will melt away from your very grasp later on?

What if the very core of your purpose of living is withering away??
Will you stay to find out what happens next?
Or actually do something about it?

i know what i want.
rest assured.
=)
polo.

2008-04-04T17:08:00.001+08:00

i'm grounded.
literally.

and it's pissing me off that i can't do anything about it.

did i mention this is torturous too?

come back soon.

2008-04-02T14:38:00.003+08:00

Know the expression "Drowning in your own thoughts"?
Yes.. that cruel treacherous expression.
and i know it a bit too well.

Its one of those days that the littlest action can affect you like a nuclear bomb.
Just one word.
Just one smile.
Just one smirk.
Just one action.
Just one spin.
Just one session.
Just one conversation.
Just one Whatever.

and it doesn't help that you have to freaking dream about it too.

BUT!
it doesn't end there!
the mind has to torture you!
it'll create pictures in your mind.
images you don't want to see.
conversations you don't want to hear.
events you just don't want to experience.

then it sucks the life out of you.
affecting others around you.
cause you see.
in an area where there are alot of positive energy going around, ONE source of negative energy is enough to suck it all like a black hole.

Example:
Everyone's laughing their ass off.
You came along with no smile no nothing.
They keep asking why.
You just don't want to share.
They'll be affected somehow.
You'll feel guilty.
ADDING to your lifeless-ness.

wait.

Why should they care what goes on with you?
idiot.
They're your friends.
Why wouldn't they care?

now now.
why this blog entry?
i freaking don't know.
i just want god to tell me why he gave me that uber stupid cum sugguh-tak-perlu dream.

Dreams are a sneak peek to your future.
or the present.

i dreamt i was catching pokemon around woodlands stadium recently.
so when is it coming true?

pfft.

believe in your Dreams too much and you'll stop living.
it'll really halt you from thinking and feeling.

part ni pandai cakap ah ejat.
why the hell am I still thinking about it then?

cause ejat mcm paham.
bye.

2008-03-30T15:44:00.002+08:00

Talking about life.
You can do that with almost anyone.

even you weird big brother.

He got me thinking. Alot.
We made vows.
We made plans.
We even kinda decided on what to do.

As for rapping, it was just a hobby.
Like they say, you can't make the kind of dough they make in U.S in Singapore.
It'll consume you if you think you can.

and as for another part,
it's consuming me.
and maybe i need.. to breath a little.
and not persist too much.

it is what it is.
it will always be the same thing.
its how you approach it.
how you hold it.
and what you plan to do with it.
that matters most.

and i'm clueless as you are.

2008-03-27T01:13:00.001+08:00

How can you be perky one second?
and get all the mood sucked out of you the next?

its been years since i felt like this.

as always, life's a bitch.

2008-03-25T00:35:00.002+08:00

Let this post be a statement.

I'm stagnant.
and i need detours.

alternatives.

i need foundations.
i don't want to run for salvation ever again.

its time i carried the load.
my load.

Lets this post be my testament.

2008-03-19T00:53:00.002+08:00

You Fool.

i run to you for salvation.
sometimes i think you're the only one that makes sense.
when things go horribly bad, i'll dial your number.

i even skipped school just to meet you cause life was full of shitloads that day remember?

again, You Fool.

do you think i care that you ramble?
do you think, for even one second, that i get irritated listening to the same thing?
i'll assure you, i just get overly worried.
and the more you bottle it up, the more i'll try to break that damn bottle.
&&&
i'll really kick your ass one day, Bestfriend.

you promised me things.
now keep it.
OK?
Fool. =)

2008-03-18T13:13:00.002+08:00

i just can't help but think.
about whatever.
about everything.

when i use to hear the familiar words.
when someone defines me with those words.
when i was the one always on the other side of the line.

No.
there is no rekindled feelings.
that is way over and done with.

Yes.
its just empty thoughts.
and reminiscing.

mistakes are to be learnt from.
and to not be repeated.

i wanna be.... better.
for... You. =)

so where is this source of change coming from?
where is this confidence mustering itself from?
where is this feeling arising from?

beats me.

i just... know what i want.
Now.

2008-03-17T02:21:00.003+08:00

Its finally done.
and i'm nearly done blogging here. =)

Hey you, look below. =)

I Wanna Be:
By Chris Brown

Imagine that the pillow that you cried on was my chest,
and the tissue that you wiped your face with was my hand.
Girl, imagine: if you needed advise about some other guy, I'm the one that comes to mind.
Not tryna hear you tell nobody that I'm just a friend,**
just trying to make sure I'm that body that you call your man,**
and anytime you need a shoulder -- it's yours, night or day,**
but what I'm tryna say is, I wanna be...

[Chorus:]
The last number you call late at night (said I wanna be),**
The first one that you dial when you open your eyes.**
Wanna be the one you run to,
wanna be the one that ain't gonna hurt you,
I wanna be yeah, I wanna be yeah..
Be the man making your girl jealous,
be the guy shuttin' down all the fellas..
whatever you need, girl, it's all on me:
soldier, your friend or your lover, girl,
I wanna be...

[Verse 2:]
Would it be cool?
Would you mind if I called you my boo,**
what if the next whip you was pushin' was the one I bought for you?
Can I be the one that meets your pops and take your mama shoppin', be the only one they like?
Have you thought about it -- wait -- really thought about it?
Maybe you should take some time**
call your girls and talk about it, yeah.**
'cause I done already made up my mind,**
don't need no more time to know if I wanna be with you,**
I wanna be...

[Verse 3:]
Put me on your screen saver, all over your myspace and make me one of your top favorites,
that's where I wanna be...
The one you cryin' for (stand up for and fightin' for)
wanna be your good, bad, love, hate girl..

Don't trouble that mind of yours, humans.
Why do you wanna know anyway? =)

Goood day. :p

Ours.

2008-03-14T12:03:00.002+08:00

Perfect timing IS being a bitch.

*deletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedelete
deletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedelete
eletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedelete
deletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedelete
deletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedelete
deletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedelete
deletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedelete
deletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedeletedelete*

done.

oi!
go make that blog la.
nyahaha.

=)

2008-03-13T01:25:00.003+08:00

ITSMA: B
CMSK2: B
SWEN: B
MDBS: D+
SADS: B
INWT: B

yes yes.

got my results back today.
despite the ugly D+ there, everything is satisfactory.

but GPA is still a bitch la.

anyways,
today was........wet.
cause it rained non-stop.

but,
still proceeded on to orchard to meet Z and S.
S was late for work.
and she worn diamond-studded SLIPPERS to the office.
and Z was..... Late?
yes.. very.

We then met Y and K and walked around Far East for awhile.
Then K slapped me for no apparent reason when she was about to leave, went to lucky plaza, pool-ed and shot zombies, had chicken for dinner.... then offffff home.....

on the way home, we had fulfilling talks about religion and life.
about boxing.
about how we are to change our co-curricular activities.
about the things other people did to make us melt.

then,
S had to alight at woodlands cause her earphones got tangled with mine.
so we had a short drama session at the platform of woodlands MRT station.
where Z was supposedly S's lover and they had one huge fight and S was crying loudly, begging for forgiveness.
Z, however, was ignoring S all the way cause he was never comfortable with the idea of the drama session cause he never did agreed to do it.
in other words,
we managed to humiliate Z. =)

and yes,
everything was splendid.
if only..................................
=p

E's done.
=)

2008-03-12T00:07:00.002+08:00

heart wants to pour out everything.
but the brain is stopping it.

why?

cause the conscience is telling it that typing down something like this is against Ezzat Bin Md Mustasar's better judgement.

so what do i do?

rap my lungs out.
old verses.
over new beats.
who cares?
music relieves the soul.

a saying that hafizah told me once:
Yes.
Hold a butterfly within your palm to embrace it.
But.
Hold it too tight or for too long, it suffocates or gets crushed.

get a cage, fool. =)
nyahaha.

i know what i'm doing.
cause i know what i want.

i'm out.

2008-03-06T02:34:00.003+08:00

Still flustering like a fool.
And still wondering why.
I'd pour my heart out right here if i could.
But what for?
Everything that is to be said has been said.

yes.

I meant every single word.
Right down till those half-spoken.

Stop tearing the book apart.
Lets burn the ending.
Lets write a new one.

I know what i want now.

Oh humans, keep wondering.

=)

It starts in my toes
makes me crinkle my nose
wherever it goes
i'll always know

You make me smile
please stay for awhile now
just take your time
wherever you go

*repeats and repeats and repeats*

nyahaha.

2008-03-05T01:15:00.002+08:00

blown-away for a few minutes.
but relieved by the very words that causes you fear.

this is mad.
this is crazy.
this is loooony
this is anything but normal.
loveably special.

can i can i can i.....?

=)

2008-03-03T00:55:00.004+08:00

yes.
we were stuck in a 961 bus.
minutes away from the interchange.
but the clever bus driver had to take the other exit which was affected by traffic jam.

so what did we do?

taiti our asses off. -_-"
laaa.. 3 games anyway. =)

performance day was cool!
mad props to the acts!
but dinner with bestfriends were crazy.
been a long time since i got that kind of company.

woke up to sunday on the wrong side of the bed.
went to marsiling for a breather. -_-
back to woodlands to meet up with miss-sun-plaza-is-at-marsiling
read read read.
went for lunch.
read read read.
taiti.
talk talk talk.
was a nice laid back day i guess.

on more higher note,
10march10march10march10march10march10march10march10march10march
10march10march10march10march10march10march10march10march10march
10march10march10march10march10march10march10march10march10march
10march10march10march10march10march10march10march10march10march
10march10march10march10march10march10march10march10march10march
10march10march10march10march10march10march10march10march10march
10march10march10march10march10march10march10march10march10march

have a nice day humans.
=)

its nice.
if its not for life.

2008-02-28T00:53:00.002+08:00

Zach lost.
cause his right shoulder popped out.
and got dislocated.

but he's a darn good fighter.
seeeeee...
told you so! (Doc & Tsun)
=)

what the heck.......
i'm still ecstatic though.
=) =) =)

my ecstasy.

2008-02-25T01:00:00.002+08:00

long black coffee sucks.
or it wasn't as nice as i hoped it would be.
kinda orange-gy actually..
but the company was fine though.

i am the ambassador of the Queen.
and royal flush right after you mentioned it.
=)

and food at es teler aren't that bad.
do you know that they hang the face of their president in all es teler outlets?
HAHA.

everything after that was......
red,red,red,blurry,red,red,red.
30 god damn times.
are you mad woman?

but you's crazy for that one.
=)

promised i'd sleeeeeeeeeeeep.
so let's hit the sack shall we?

one last note,
shits happen.
alot of times actually.
don't matter how many times you fall.
what matters is the number of times you actually get back on your feet.
no matter how hard you get hit.
no matter how many times.
all that matters is your dire need to regain everything according to your favour.

and i'm doing it my way.

a million things to say.
but no opening for the words to slip.

so lets sleep. =)

2008-02-21T10:42:00.003+08:00

So the long holidays are here.

but the thing is, i don't know whether its a good or bad thing.
alot of things to get done.
but the mood isn't settling down for me to get started.

on a more heavier note,
results this semester will really really pull down the GPA.
gosh.
why can't we have a permeanent scoring system?
where one failure wouldn't affect the rest of your grade!
but heck, poly mah..
i'll kill every one of those motherfuckers who said and is going to say that polytechnic is easy.
but like they say, blame yourself before you blame everyone else........
ahhhhh what the heck..
lets just blame everyone else for this one.

and this urge to keep a cat is strong like fuck.
you know.....
a feline to irritate the hell out of when you're bored.
a feline to cuddle when you just feel down and out.
a feline to have lunch or dinner with.
a feline that will look for you and miss you and run to you when you come home from wherever.

why must they think i'll ill-treat the cat???? -_-
i can be gentle tooooooo.
Discrimination at its best.

Music wise, Dome Squad Clique is making a comeback.
being active for too long led to problems and contradictions.
being quiet for too long, however, made us musically soft and, in other words, dead? =)

but heck....
you're sure in for a surprise....!

Next performance will be at Youth Park!
1st march!
1pm to 1 am show!
Show some love for the local scene homosapiens!

and that old guy is going NS on 11 march.
why oh why oh why? =(

onwards,
its in my nature to be irritating.
when it comes to situations like this.
and knowing that you hate it leaves me... blankless at times.
but it can't be help though.

i just get worried. alot.

and i ask.
maybe once too many.
but you can't blame me for doing it right? =)

ohoh.
society can throw a shitload of looks and words at me.
cause i'm wearing a blindfold and listening to an ipod with audio technica headphones.
at maximum volume.
which simply means,
i don't give a.....hmmmm...
Fuck.

a look at Tsun And Ejat's latest ish-ness:

The chorus:

We back son
You best believe that
We back on set
Click Clack where you at (OH!)
So lean back to the sound of the weatherman
We dope till forever man X2

smile for me you fauna lover.

2008-02-18T00:16:00.002+08:00

It was freezing.
It was boring.
It was on impulse.
It was bad.

at first.

then it was funny.
it was warm.
it was enjoyable.
it was loveable.
it was sweet.
it was super spur of the moment.

we'll wait for 1 month i guess.
=)

to the left to the left.
tilt your damn head to the left.
nyahaha.

2008-02-15T11:29:00.002+08:00

So why take blows when i know its not even worth resisting?
why sit through this again when i know its fruitless?
why the heck am i even thinking about this?

i'm closing this chapter permeanently.
and no, there is no conditioning.
there is no loopbacks.
there is no fickle-mindedness.

i'm through with this.

YenYenYenYenYenYen....!

Jumper..
Iron Man..

& so many more......!

=)

lets escape society shall we?
take my hand..

2008-02-09T23:37:00.000+08:00

come to think of it,
it all moved too fast.

when you had the whole world in your hands for one day,
and someone just took it away without you knowing it.

then, it was given back to you, just like that.
but it's tainted, you can't even recognize the same feelings you bear.

now..
it's all amidst.
whyyyyyyyy?
whyyyyyyyy?
whyyyyyyyy?

i know why.
things change.
people change.

& we just need to learn to let go and move on.

on a lighter note,
things have been bubbly in this mundane life of mine.
won't go into all the damn details cause it feels wrong YET so right at the same time. =)

but for what its worth,
the nice nice gushy feeeeeelings is stilllllll bubbbbbling all over laaaa seyyy. nyahaha.

$120 and still counting.
let's see what'll happen next huh? =)

The longest.
and i lost count too. =)

2008-02-06T07:58:00.001+08:00

So maybe words can rationalize what happened.
maybe words would only spoil the whole thing.

but for what its worth,
this is by far the longest time the bubbly warm-ly gushy feeling is running in my body.

=)

5

2008-02-04T09:27:00.000+08:00

life finally started last friday..
with ovedued projects handed up and now left with only 3, the brain can breath a little.

So how do you celebrate this day?

grab a KFC meal at queenstown at some anchor whatever. =)
but beware... 961 is a bitch. SUPER bitch. -_-

Saturday, however, was performance day!
and it was a blast actually!
except for when the blooody stage fire was blasting its way behind us.

but at least i know the froggy voice isn't there.. oh..
yes yes....
i have to admit that its thanks to you.. -_-
so thank you huns.. =)

after the whole performance, proceeded to esplanade to chill by the bay.
got a bit akward for awhile.
got a piece of the soul teared off too.
wanna know why we need bestfriends?

cause they act as glue to keep you together. =)

and for sunday, it was movie day!
and we watched The Mist.
seemed funny in the beginning cause i thought the monsters would be ghostly but it was more to.... alien-ish.
arrowhead project or something.

but the ending was crazy.
not crazy dope crazy..
crazy that it really is crazy for the director to end the movie like that!
the movie was worth the money though.
SARAH!
you should watch it! =)

and then,
everything was a blur.....
cause i can't seem to stop smiling...

and i still am you dumbdumb =)
see you next wednesday! nyahaha.

better get a move on on my next project.
will update again soon!

bye!

thoughts need to be collected.
to know what's really up. =)

2008-01-29T08:58:00.000+08:00

It starts in my toes
makes me crinkle my nose
wherever it goes
i'll always know

You make me smile
please stay for awhile now
just take your time
wherever you go

*repeats and repeats and repeats*

hehe.

its the inside thing between me and my 2 goons.
lets keep it this way. =)

this feels so right yet wrong at the same time.

2008-01-21T10:57:00.000+08:00

at long fuc**** last,
a movie worth our money.

or free tickets anyway. =)

ohh.. 27 dresses is a rather good movie.
you people should go watch it.

we weren't dancing in the movies.
we weren't talking.
we were actually concentrating.
good or what. haha.

after 6 not-so-good movies and 1 awesome one,
its time to study study study i guess.
4 more weeks to go!
4 more weeks to go!
then holiday!
then attachement!
then fyp!
then graduate!
then NS!
then maybe work or study again!
then find work!
then work work work!
then die!

please let love consume me soon.
i don't wanna live like that!

oh oh.
now you know why..
i need you here.
huh? =)

i'm done!

NEXT UP: The Trade
Iron Man
P.S. I Love You
Jumper

Babes! No use saying 27 Dresses was the last one.
You know you'll be watching all this. =)

2008-01-20T00:20:00.000+08:00

is it just me or are all movies being aired in singapore are boring?
dammitdammitdammit
and what's up with the fact that whenever i have to give a treat, ITS 9.50!
haha.
cursed huh?
but it's sincere though. =)

back to the fact that movies are boring:
we danced in the damn cinema
we talked like there was no tomorrow
we bite each other
we made up our own storylines
we laughed at the fucking ghosts face when they appear cause all of them looked computer generated
we bought 10.40 worth of hot dogs..well.. you did la.. =)

and the list goes on!

but..
national treasure is still cool la.

andand..

American Gangster can go kill itself.
TOO longwinded la.
but the killing part was awesome la..

and whats the chance that the theatre was empty when we entered for the two previous movies huh?

and not forgetting a rowdy bunch of chinese boys who made our day with their antics.
"Thank you for your cooperation! the movie is so good that no one is watching it!"
in broken english.
and while he was climbing over the rows of seat to get out!

okok.

bad movies list:
One missed call
Body 19
Vanished
Penny dreadful

American gangster has the storyline.
but its just too damn long.
and National treasure is still awesome ok. -_-

next up,
The Trade.

Besides the fact that the sypnosis has the word 'Sex Slaves' in it, it sounds good.
hopefully laaa eh. *crosses fingers*

i'm done!

P.S. Masih basah yen? =)

2008-01-17T23:33:00.000+08:00

So its true that you'll never know what you got till its gone?
or when you're on the verge of losing it that you'd just do anything insanely possible to get it back.

Apologies would be fruitless now.
so, i'mma skip it here and go straight to the point.
one incident is enough to make me go all haywire.
so here's the vow..
i'll do anything possible to avoid situations like this.
ever ever ever.

=)

and you just love meeeee toooooo much..
NOT PUSHING IT.
but you know i just had to type that down. =)

anyways,
say goodbye to KATAK recording voice and HELLO ejat!
maybe happiness has always beeen the key.
the fact that i just wanted to have fun made it all sound more professional.
SHULZ!
master the damn thing faster and send!
grrrrr!

and one more thing,
either god answered my prayers super fast just now...
or you're too nice.

but i choose my first option though!
thank you big man up there. =)

i'm done i'm done.
*hand gesture*
=)

2008-01-15T23:48:00.000+08:00

i screwed up.
again.

a meaningless post to you.
a million words of apologies for me.

i'm sorry.

2008-01-14T09:30:00.000+08:00

Sunday was seriously well spent.
Woke up.
Went to esplenade.
Studied with yen for awhile at the library. (the well spent part =)! )
Then it was hanging out till monday comes.
nyahahaha.

just imagine...
one song that can intimidate you so much..
you feel like retorting but theres no one there for you to remark off..
and the more you listened, it slaps you more to reality.

gosh.

thank god you were there for me to hug.

whatever it is,
let it go
let it go
let it go

on a lighter note,
i've realized something!
i think.
can't be sure though.
BUT there was realization.
BUT it's kinda scary if you think about it!
What if..
What if..
What if..

=)

you will never know.

2008-01-12T12:24:00.000+08:00

No one told me it'll be this tough to separate the fake from genuine feelings.
The fact that everything seems right even though its fake.
Or that it has this whole fake outlook when its genuine.

What am i blabbering exactly?

to tell you the truth,
its all a blur.
to say that i did make a right turn would be an understatement
cause you're suppose to know what you're doing in order to call it right.

True?

but there's this beacon of hope that keeps telling me to pursue forward.
that i should let the road unwind itself.
even if the destination is somewhere i just don't wanna be.

again, what am i blabbering about?

to say that someone does understand me is an understatement.
cause after the layers of deception i've covered myself with, i think its rather impossible.
maybe one person does.
maybe she doesn't.
or maybe its just too much of a thing to think about that its better she avoids from getting her hands dirty?

maybe?

decisions have been made.
resolutions recited almost everyday.
but the effect isn't taking place.
it's like the essence to change isn't there.
there's no... soul?
or maybe no... commitment?

but what i'm sure of is.. i need a stronger backbone than what i have now.
this one is getting much too comfortable with the slow pace life.
maybe one day i'll live it on the fast lane and see how long i can last.

please don't try to understand all of this.
this are just impulsive words the brain chooses to release tension.
there is no link to anyone's life.

This is mine & MINE alone.

to tell you the truth,
i'm scared.
terrified.
petrified.

break this four walls and set me free.
or lock me up forever, go swallow that damn key.

all it took was one dream, one event and one conversation.
see how pathetic life can be.

2008-01-06T23:48:00.000+08:00

Today is a well spent sunday i must say.
Ok!
Maybe the starting was abit shaky but it all ended good.

Lets start with the soul cleansing session shall we?

I apologise for being an ass and not telling you.
I apologise even more that you got to find it out in a very harsh way.
I apologise that you had to go through a sleepless night.
I apologise for you-know-what. =*(

But mostly,

I apologise for betraying the trust
Knowing that thats the kryptonite in this relationship.

Whatever promises made today will be kept.
Both of it. =)

Well.. at least i know you'll shed tears for me?
AND i mean that in a sweet way dumbass!
oh i am so pushing it. nyahaha.

OK! not onto the day!

met the tongue catcher at the movie area with a MOODY expression on her face. -_-
but it all turned out well cause i was hiding my face behind her shoulder during the movie.
not cause i'm scared laaaa! Alot of heart thumping scenes la. Bitchy movie.
Penny dreadful or what migga! =)

THEN!

it was the first car park session where..............
i finally knew the real meaning of 'Cat got your tongue' expression.
pfft. -_-

THEN!

it was on to a chicken rice dinner!
where we stood like models while waiting for empty seats!

and supposedly,
the plan was to go to VIVO.
but while going down to the entrance, we found out that many people PAITAO.
and again, being the impulse people that we are......
we watched a second movie.

-_-

TOLD YOU THE MOVIE WAS HILARIOUS AND AWESOME.
taknak percaya kan. nyahaha.

and the movie session was fun!
both trying hard to keep each other warm.
and we had to result to yawning at each others hands.
works wonders laa but irritates the hell out of you while you're trying to watch and the eyes go all teary.

then we had smoking session at carpark.
talk talk talk talk talk.
the never ending make-ejat-feel-guilty-as-if-he-wasn't-guilty-enough conversation.
smoke smoke smoke!
and we were off!

so yaa.. productive day i must say.

movies and cappucino on me this friday yenyen.
ERGH.
tak rasa guilty ke aku tak belanja duit sekolah just to treat kau? =(

nyahahha.

I'm done. oh!
here's a few pictures.

The damn cat that got my tongue. =(

'Ejat! taknak amik! ADA FLASH! ARGH!*tries to cover face*'
You just can't resist pictures can you. =)

Yeap. That my bestfriend.
Yeap. That my bestfriend.

2008-01-05T00:37:00.000+08:00

Had one of those days when you just became restless cause of nothing?
Or when your fingers tremble when you're typing a simple post?

i'd rather drop dead and hope that the world forgets me.
Cause the problems following it will disappear too.

So i might not be a meistro at handling predicaments.
I might not be able to flow with the current life's throwing.

who am i kidding sia?
"Takde pape."
you know i'm fucking lying.

lets bury everything deeeeeep inside.
cause maybe i'm just burying the closest ones around me now.
lets start digging my own grave shall we?

byebye.

2008-01-04T00:02:00.001+08:00

Nyahahaha! =)

Another one of her Infamous torn sessions. =)

What lack of sleep can do to you on new years.

The day when i got really really restless!
*cough*ADORABLESLUT*cough*

And this is suppose to be our proper picture. -_-

Now where can you get a grandpa that plays GameBoy Advance?

Today is international traffic jam day!
and i really really think that public transport has something against me.
pfft.

So we met in front of the pig store.
Went to buy contact lenses.
Ate combo 2 instead of 1.
Had a drink at Mccafe.
WAS SUPPOSE to catch a movie. BUT NOOOOOOO.. she doesn't watch anything other than horror and ghost movies. PFFFFT!
Went to Taka garden.
AND HAD THE TIME OF OUR LIFE.
nyahahaha. Q & A our asses off.
What if's here and there.
and it was nice laaaaa.

And i re-read a previous blogpost of mine.
God really does listen to you. =) wonder why huh?

ok i'm done! byeeeeee!
*Pinnies hugging pompkin! =)*

2007-12-27T01:41:00.000+08:00

Changes.

Its common.
One day you're in, next day you're out.
It sometimes happen so fast that you can't catch up.
Thats when you know you're stuck.
AND ITS TRUE.
No one can help you out except for yourself.
Absolutely no one.

But what if you know where the ladder is..
But you choose to take your time?

ok it sucks feeeeling like this.
Why does it feel as if i'm going for another ride?

cause all this sceneries seems familiar.

its time to let TIME unravel everything one more time.
But if its the same ending, i'm not gonna go through it again.

Not when everythings hanging like this.

sorry about the nose babes. =(

argh fuck. I'm done.

2007-12-18T01:02:00.000+08:00

ok.
its seems that i've been having an 18 year old face way before i turned 18.
cause 5 different shops didn't ask for my IC when i wanted to buy those LIFE sticks. nyahaha.

GERAM SIOL.

Fine.. You may think that this is childish, immature, stupid...
and the list goes on.

BUT!

i was born in december.
Which means that before december arrived, i had to depend on them 18 year old people a.k.a chocolate face minah to purchase them for me.

AND the humiliation she puts me through!

"Come. AKAK belikan."
"CEPATLAH. Aku tak belikan baru tau"
"Umur brape nak beli? *Smirks*"

So you see, i just have to feel the IC-checking stage to logically tell me that i'm 18!
not clubbing.
JUST PURCHASING OF THEM STUPID THING.

but what the heck..
clubbbing ke pe this saturday?

How i wish ZIE was reading this blogpost. =)

Chocolate face minah.
I seriously find this picture scary.
PUTIH GILA KAN? =)

Won't a shop just check it? =(

2007-12-15T14:59:00.000+08:00

i owe everyone one big "THANK YOU!"

TO Zahid, Sarah & YENNY...

the surprise was awesome.
and the present was fabolous.
and the splat of cake to the face was totally uncalled for!!
BUT WHAT THE HECK.
it was great.

to you,

the present is great.
a great kick start to the age.
meaningful yet peaceful appearance.
Much love. =)

to cousins and family,

Seems like time's been a bitch and we can't meet often.
But we can now!
We'll do something together soon again ok??

Izza! thank you for the wallet!
AYIE! Thanks for saying the word "LEGAL!" in front of everyone eh.. nyahaha!
Family! Seoul garden was a blast.

Thank you F2DM
Thank you Dome people
Thank you DSC
Thank you Family
Thank you Cousins
Thank you Bestfriends

OH OH

thank you minah. for everything. =)

its time for this legal dude to go meet the world.

Arrivederci! =)

2007-12-12T01:03:00.000+08:00

here's a lil something something which i think is nice. =)

The last thing you get
Is a blindfold and a cigarette
You willing to bet
Like an ocean cruise
Mami, I'm so addictive
How long I('ve) been stroking you gives you motion sickness
Grant your wishes
I leave you four senses
Smelling, feeling, tasting, and hearing
One minute I'm gone
Next I'm reappearing
The bed is the bentley
I'm doing the steering
I got your eyes in the veil
With your hands all over my tattoos
Like your reading the braile
Like my wine
With a spicy aftertaste
Though you fine
I like to cover up half your face
If you blind and can't see
What I'm bout to do
The suspense so intense won't allow you to move
Gonna surprise you
Like Hugh Grant in 8 and a half weeks
Kelis and Nasty

Blindfold Me by Kelis Feat Nas.

Lyrical Genius i must say.

done.

2007-12-06T00:01:00.000+08:00

are we really THAT intimidating?
cause from what i see, we're just an odd pair.

abusive odd pair i must add.

eh cmon laaa.

Guy gets fresh with girl.
Girl says no.
Guy goes all desperate.
Girl never entertain.
Guy goes around claiming that he owns her.
Girl just keeps quiet.
Guy then added that he got to fuck her.
Girl keeps quiet.
Guy acts as another guy and insults her.
Girl chats with me on the phone and we end up laughing.

NYAHAHA.

you people are just plain entertainment.
OH OH.
We love beefs!
and we like ours well-done!
knawhaimean? =)

to "Yenny",
i got my perfect yenny right here.
so i kind of don't need another one you see.

done.

2007-11-28T01:13:00.000+08:00

Now now.. where do we start?

life has been one big stupid roller coaster.
emotional attacks ranging from friends to families appeared everywhere.
and don't even get me started with school dammit.

-_-"

but everything's settling down now.
Life seems abit calmer.

ok.
the swords out of the shaft.
and you're swinging it abit too close to my back.
so close that i can actually feel the words slicing through.

now why would anyone in his/her shoe would even think of doing something like this?

oh. lupa. melayu. can't live without gossiping.

blood or not.

oh believe me. since i'm that immature.. you should probably know that i just love to add salt to the wound.

So be the bitch that you are and cower.

Who knows. Maybe a speck of courage hidden deep in yourself might make you confront me one day.

Till then, i'll inflict the pain. =)

had my left eye blind, while my right couldn't see. enough.

2007-11-18T01:58:00.001+08:00

so what now?

your move.

i'm closing nearer to checkmate.

and i'm the king

2007-11-16T00:22:00.000+08:00

Here's one for you.

CMSK2 interview was splendid. Everything clicked together much much better than i expected.
Serena keeeeeeps saying i looook so keen and sincere! and kept smelling round my collar for ciggie smelll! WHAT ONLY SIA.
I don't smoke seyy. =)

What followed after the interview was a fun yet mundane event.
Miss Yenny Christina came all the way from Queenstown to Woodlands at 12 pm.
After a quick wash-up at home and a meal at KKT, we realized that we HAD NO plan whatsoever.
And yes, we can be found sitting at the kedai kopi behind civic dome till we're 80.
She with her lemon longan drink and myself with Teh-O. huahuahua.

okok.
I AM SORRY.
For biting till abit of your skin was torn off.
ok babes?
yeayyy! =)

i find this funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnny...
i don't get bored meeting this abusive friend of mine almost everyday.

maybe its because she's mature at thoughts...
but mild by nature.

or maybe its her sincerity...
cause i've always beeen complaining that i wish to find just one friend that owns only one face.

or maybe things just clicked cause nature wants it too.

what i'm certain off is she's abusive.
very very abusive.
But i trust her as much as she trust me.
And i believe the trust has been established.
Especially after that i-still-don't-know-why-i-told-you converstion.
kan yen kan? =)

oh oh.

here's a picture.

YES. This minah is my bestfriend.

And we're making too many enemies.

oh.

Just to get something straight.

I love this dumb girl too much like a bestfriend to ruin it with a meaningless relationship.

getitthroughyourthickskullDUDEandquitgettingintimidatedcauseitsshowing. =)

aku dah update. PUAS? Nyahahaha. :)

2007-11-05T00:58:00.000+08:00

I just swallowed the nearest pills i could get my hands on.

pening liaoooo.

and yenny is humming to Brother John's tune.

Quiet stone-ing girl..
HAHA.
Ridiculous. -_-

The Game Plan was awesome laa ok.
Everything that i expected.
ALTHOUGH SOMEONE SAID ITS NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT.
another " -_-" for you laa!
I give it 4 stars and 6 thumbs up!
Huahuahua!

Essay Essay here i come.

And the all-mysterious pill is finally kicking in.

Goodbye lovers and haters. =)

2007-10-30T09:36:00.000+08:00

To think that another entity would make it falter.
I was foolish to think that i could finally have my happy ending.

This is an overdue blog post.

When i was sparing a thought,
showing concern and even to the extend of doing things without thinking...
how long was i being a fool?

I choose not to pursue such a trivial matter.
Cause the core of the problem was right in the mirror all these while.
YES.
Maybe i WAS ignorant.
Maybe i didn't make the best decisions.
Maybe i was just too worried about you that i just don't want to persist on and on since you're pushing me away.

Upon knowing the actual reasons why,
i just can't live with it.

CAUSE.

Its not a good enough reason for that particular action to be taken.
Do i bore you?

I have no intention whatsoever to indirectly hit someone verbally.
But directly hitting a friend for putting this knife at my back? hmmm..
Sounds reasonable.

But i'll pass.

Let's be the bigger man here.
Let's just embrace the moment.
Let's just wait and see.

If you want her, go get her.
I won't even do a thing to stop you.

Cause when you love someone, you gotta let her go.
Even if its to the arms of another guy.

To you,
yes i very much do have strong feelings for you.
but i just can't trust myself with you.
for now.
its nice to know that you'd do anything and wait for a long time to build the trust back up again.
but place minimal hopes.
please.

who knows?
Maybe a flame on a candle can light up just like that.

And the bus ride was nice. =)

and to Mr Superstar,
You can only have one.
No matter how good you claim to be with girls,
you can only have one.

and oh,
Guess we even huh? ;)

YEN YEN!
is letting loose....
AND SHE'S AN ASS.

Ass nampak
Ass nampak.

OKOK.

The last part was redundant.

BYE!

2007-10-29T02:44:00.000+08:00

i just wanna disappear one day.

and see who's gonna be the one to pull through.

and actually ask around.

wahhhh.

make this head stop thinking for once.

2007-10-16T00:28:00.000+08:00

Caught a movie on TV today.

A line that bitch slapped me to reality,

"So lets stop hurting each other. Agreed?"

The context in which this line was being used in was accurate.
Be it superficial or real,
Or even directly or indirectly,
This motherfucking sentence made sense.

Have you ever had those days where your imperfections got a better grip on you?
When you look everywhere to find someone to lean on but they cower?
Or they think its just another one of your episodes and choose to send a few messages and get it done and over with.

screw everyone else la.
Mum always told me to stand on my own two feet.

and to not pour in too much feelings on something or someone...

It always seem that i'm a small factor.
Even if i blew up the world, they'll not even acknowledge that and blame it on nature.
Cause theres always something bigger out there.

You wanne be in?
Go change your image and personality.

Is that fucking true??

Anyways, expressing yourself and being "emo" is 2 different things.
And what's so wrong in becoming emo???
Stupid people should judge their stupid selfs before judging others.

Whatever.

I'm outta here.

2007-10-12T17:12:00.000+08:00

Todays the last day of fasting.
And its not good.

Like sarah said, fasting has this warmth feeling about it.
But there's always next year.
If god allows.

House looks nice !
Baju Baju Raya are all prepped up !
The raya treats are all ready !

&

My hair makes me look like a street punk ! -_-

Anyways,

Selamat Hari Raya.
Maaf Zahir Batin.
To all muslims everywhere.

=)

I'm Done.

& i am grateful for what i have now.
every single one and thing.

2007-10-08T14:32:00.001+08:00

Of all the things you could say.

of all the things you could say.

Now what.

now what?

2007-10-06T15:12:00.000+08:00

My perception of life is going all haywire. Freaks the hell out of me sometimes.
Seeems like everything was in place one day and the next, Someone just had to shake the box and mess the whole damn thing again.

Reason why i'm afraid to commit.
Everything just crumbles when they're at their prime. In my point of view.
Things don't last long.. they just become so stale till both parties choose to neglect it since it ain't that appertising anymore.

My thoughts and perception of bonds were so much more innocent back when i didn't know nuts about the real world.
And it gets worse when i feel the way i think.
And when i just want to let the bond hang cause i don't know what to do with it.

Face it, we humans are attracted to beautiful things.
So if u ain't beautiful, you gotta try harder.
And what sucks is when you were beautiful once and people who were close to you got bored of it.

I'm always trying a lil' bit harder to find every bit of those genuine ties.
Funny thing is people do drift apart. No matter how genuine you think that thing is, you just drift apart.
Be it different schools or whatever, there's always something better out there.
And the ones you already got are just last season.

No matter how dearly i try to make it look like as if its all the same, it's fruitless.
Cause i am aware and i am just using words to blind me deeply.
Maybe it was too dear for me to just declare that its crumbling.
Or maybe i was just to engrossed with the terms used and that i wanted it to stay that way.

All good things come to an end.

And it seems like i got a second shot at this thing again.
Like my music, i'm gonna play it laid back.
and i'll do Better.

We'll see the outcome as it appears.
No strings attached.

I'm bored of life.
Let's move on.

I'm done.

2007-10-04T09:13:00.000+08:00

Tagged by the infamous jumping minah. -_-
Lets go.

Layer 1: On the outside
Name: ejat shinoda! wooohooo!
Birth date: 14.12.1989
Current Status: Attached
Eye colour: Black
Hair Colour: Unfortunately, black.

Layer 2: On the inside
My heritage: Malay with a lil bit of chinese blood thanks to grandma on mums side. Cause of this, i'm cursed with super small eyes! -_-
My fears: Waking up one day to a world infested with zombies and that the only weapon that i have is a kitchen knife cause face it, you can't get guns in Singapore.EHH TAKNAK SIAL!
My weaknesses: Superman has kryptonite. i have balloons. They make the most painful-lest sound when its being rubbed. FUCK.
My perfect pizza: Those the Ninja Turtles eat! The cheese are actually dripping! *soulful eyes*

Layer 3: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
My first thought of waking up: Nanti nak beli rokok ape ah?
My bedtime: I will either talk on the phone, chat or read a book till i fall asleep.
My most missed memories: Secondary school life. Where everything was simple. =)

Layer 4: My pick.
Pepsi or Coke: Coke for life miggah!
Single or group dates: with the right company, definitely group.
Adidas or Nike: When it comes down to shoes, both. But adidas sweaters are preferred though.
Vanilla or Chocolate: VANILLA
Cappuccino or Coffee: Neither. Tea.

Layer 5: Do you?
Smoke: NO! I'm underage for god sakes! What kind of a survey is this?! -_-
Do you Curse: Every fuckity fucking fucked up day. =)
Take a shower: Nahhh.. Prefers licking myself. What world are you living in?
Have a crush: Mary, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Keira knightley, Kate hudson, KAT DE LUNA! =)
Go to school: Zaman bila mau skola babe! Temasek poly for myself please. =)
Believe in yourself: RARELY.
Think you're a health freak: Well i do avoid smoking and the bad stuffs that youths today are influenced by. =)

Layer 6: In the past
Drink alcohol: A sip. I swear.
Gone to the mall: Yessir.
Dyed your hair: Alot of times actually.

Layer 7: Have you ever..?
Played a stripping game: Saw two dudes stripped in front of me after that! =)
Change who you were to fit in: Oh god no. I'll change the group i'm fitting into. =)

Layer 8: Are you hoping to
Get married: Very much yes! and i want little ejat's running around! =)

Layer 9: In a partner
Best eye colour: Green on one, Blue on the other.
Best hair colour: Jet Black.
Long or short hair: Whatever you want honey. =)

Layer 10: What were you doing?
A minute ago: Answering "Layer 9: In a partner".
An hour ago: Scanning.
A Month ago: Finishing my last exam paper.
A Year ago: Rotting in the lecture theatre.

Layer 11: Finish the sentences..
I love: rapping
I hide: thoughts and feeling.
I miss: Iqah mamiqah, Sha2 and Azman! SUNDAY! =)
I need: nurhazimahbtemdvijaya.

Layer 12: Tag 5
Hazimah
Ayie
Nadia
Izzati
Sarah

Oh oh..
Its nice to know that theres someone there who would do anything to hide you from the cops if you ever murdered someone. =)

But i'm still dying your cat purple!

Ok done! =)

2007-10-02T10:21:00.000+08:00

Let's take a step back from the fast-moving events and recollect.

Fact is, i'm puzzled by the way people react to situations.
And i'm further more baffled by the way they handle them.
Its to an extent where you have to put pride over your own self-being?
Quit the act.

I have a few of my own agendas to settle with so pardon me if i don't roll with your attitude.
I choose to not say a word about this cause it'll only make me look hypocritical.
oh oh.. That means a Two Face S.O.B. Get the picture?

But note this, make your movement strong or i'll make it falter.
Pathethic and utter waste of time if you wanna do this for the sole purpose of 'HITTING' someone.
But since you're at it, put me down straight.
Cause i don't torture.
I kill.

OK!

On a lighter note, did i mention i almost fell to my death while doing some works at Batam?

THERES NO MORE PROPER LIGHTER NOTES IN LIFE.

Oh well.
Lets go back to the part of life where i actually enjoy mocking someone.

In the true words of an emcee,
BAKDATANG!

Ahhh yeee.. ejat dah noneng.

OK DONE! =)

2007-09-25T22:45:00.000+08:00

Work has been war!
Papercuts are really irritating.
And furthermore, you can't bleed when you're fasting.
Or so i was told.
IT HURTS LA!
Not to the extend of really hurting laaa..
But when you forgot that you had the cuts and you wash your hands, it's like the 4th of July. Fireworks and all.

But.. The pays good.
And the hours are ok.
So theres nothing to complain on exactly.
So lets move on.

Oh yes.
Yenny Christina.
Wear a helmet on 14 December 2007.
And lock your cat up.
Before he barks. =)

ok i'm done!

2007-09-16T05:03:00.000+08:00

1002 words.

Plus alot of rough textures.

Potrayal of a very very hard time maybe?

Or maybe flipping over to the next page?

It kills the soul.

When you find out that your greatest fan bears 2 faces.

Whatever.

Anyway, starting work on monday.

Finally, Cash.

And not forgetting, GOODBYE BOREDOM.

maybe if i close my eyes real tight... forget it.

It never did work before.

I'm done. SHABUYA!

2007-09-14T00:34:00.000+08:00

1. The person who tagged you is - Yenny Christina a.k.a Jumping Minah! =)
2.Your relationship with him/her is - My sisterly crap partner online.
3. 5 impressions you have of him/her - Crappy at certain times of the day, LOVES TO THINK, Block headed, awefully nice and TALL.
4.The most memorable thing he/she has done for you - a certain sibling related conversation. ;)
5. The most memorable words he/she has said to you - cause..i..am..a..MURDERER! =)
6. If he/she becomes your lover, you will - Dig my own grave cause i won't stop LAUGHING.
7. If he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be - Her height? =)
8. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will - run before she jumps on me! HAHA!
9. If he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be - Cause i breached the trust.
10. The most desirable thing you want to do for him/her now is - To convince her that not all dudes are jerks?
11. Your overall impression of him/her is - A great listening friend to have around.
12. How you think people around you will feel about you? - Maybe sociable. and Nice?
13. The characteristic you love about yourself is - I don't mock. Unless if im pissed like F***.
14. The characteristic you hate about yourself is - LOW SELF-ESTEEM! SHEEESH!
15. (the most ideal person you want to be is) Ezzat Bin Md Mustasar

1.Hazimah
2. Ayie
3. Nadia
4. Nia
5. Sarah
6. Zahid
7. Yenny
8. Tsun
9. Hairil A.K.A Tha Docta
10. Anis

(Who is no.6 having a relationship with?) He's Shy. So he's available! =)
(Is no.9 a male or female?) - Male.
(If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?) - I'll definitely want to see that happen. =)
(What is no.2 studying?) - Maritime baby! =)
(When was the last time you had a chat with no.3?) -4 days ago?
(What kind of music does no.8 like?) - HipHop esp. Gangster Rapping.
(Does no.1 has any siblings?) - Jyeahhhh! Adorable and loveable ones i must say. =)
(Will you woo no.3?) - She's my freaking COUSIN.
(How about no.7?) - Can't. She's just too.. bbbbb belo-ey? hahaha!
(Is no.4 single?) - Nahhh.
(What’s the surname of no.5?) - If you're asking for the dad's name, its SAH! =)
(What’s the hobby of no.4?) - Photography!
(Do no.5 and 9 get along well?) - Definitely. They got specifically acquainted before. =)
(Where is no.2 studying at?) - Singapore Polytechnic!
(Say something casual about no.1) - My Better Half. My Souls Recognition of its Counterpart.
(Have you tried developing feelings for no.8?) - Yeah. A brotherly bond actually. (Tsun & Ejat)
(Where does no.9 live?) - Pending! In front of Zhenghua CC!
(What colour does no.4 like?) - errrrrr.... all the colours in the world?
(Are no.5 and 1 best friends?) - Good friends. =)
(Does no.7 like no.2?) -I SWEAR I DIDN'T DO THIS ON PURPOSE. And they're Just friends. Nothing more. =)
(How did you get to know no.2?) - My darling cousin.
(Does no.1 have any pets?) - She had a cat once.
(Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world?) - HAH! SEXY?! MORE LIKE MOLEY! =)

Something that i just gotta add.
I have to let go of something that i know is lost.
I have to release the snake's poison eventhough it can be my one way ticket out of this living nightmare.

Ok ok. I'm sick of this feeling already.

Let us move on to the next chapter of our lives.
And please don't fucking look back. =)

ok. Now I'm DONE. =)