*Confessions*
{Tuesday, October 30, 2007 @ 9:36 AM}
To think that another entity would make it falter.
I was foolish to think that i could finally have my happy ending.
This is an overdue blog post.When i was sparing a thought,
showing concern and even to the extend of doing things without thinking...
how long was i being a fool?
I choose not to pursue such a trivial matter.
Cause the core of the problem was right in the mirror all these while.
YES.
Maybe i WAS ignorant.
Maybe i didn't make the best decisions.
Maybe i was just too worried about you that i just don't want to persist on and on since you're pushing me away.
Upon knowing the actual reasons why,
i just can't live with it.
CAUSE.
Its not a good enough reason for that particular action to be taken.
Do i bore you?I have no intention whatsoever to indirectly hit someone verbally.
But directly hitting a friend for putting this knife at my back? hmmm..
Sounds reasonable.But i'll pass.Let's be the bigger man here.
Let's just embrace the moment.
Let's just wait and see.
If you want her, go get her.
I won't even do a thing to stop you.
Cause when you love someone, you gotta let her go.
Even if its to the arms of another guy.
To you,
yes i very much do have strong feelings for you.
but i just can't trust myself with you.
for now.its nice to know that you'd do anything and wait for a long time to build the trust back up again.
but place minimal hopes.
please.
who knows?
Maybe a flame on a candle can light up just like that.
And the bus ride was nice. =)
and to Mr Superstar,
You can only have one.
No matter how good you claim to be with girls,
you can only have one.
and oh,
Guess we even huh? ;)YEN YEN!
is letting loose....
AND SHE'S AN ASS.
Ass nampak
Ass nampak.
OKOK.
The last part was redundant.
BYE!
{Monday, October 29, 2007 @ 2:44 AM}
i just wanna disappear one day.
and see who's gonna be the one to pull through.
and actually
ask around.wahhhh.
make this head stop thinking for once.
{Tuesday, October 16, 2007 @ 12:28 AM}
Caught a movie on TV today.
A line that bitch slapped me to reality,
"So lets stop hurting each other. Agreed?"The context in which this line was being used in was accurate.
Be it superficial or real,
Or even directly or indirectly,
This motherfucking sentence made sense.
Have you ever had those days where your imperfections got a better grip on you?
When you look everywhere to find someone to lean on but they cower?
Or they think its just another one of your episodes and choose to send a few messages and get it done and over with.
screw everyone else la.
Mum always told me to stand on my own two feet.
and to not pour in too much feelings on something or someone...
It always seem that i'm a small factor.
Even if i blew up the world, they'll not even acknowledge that and blame it on nature.
Cause theres always something bigger out there.
You wanne be in?
Go change your image and personality.
Is that fucking true??
Anyways, expressing yourself and being "emo" is 2 different things.
And what's so wrong in becoming emo???
Stupid people should judge their stupid selfs before judging others.
Whatever.
I'm outta here.
{Friday, October 12, 2007 @ 5:12 PM}
Todays the last day of fasting.
And its not good.
Like sarah said, fasting has this warmth feeling about it.
But there's always next year.
If god allows.
House looks nice !
Baju Baju Raya are all prepped up !
The raya treats are all ready !
&
My hair makes me look like a street punk ! -_-
Anyways,
Selamat Hari Raya.
Maaf Zahir Batin.
To all muslims everywhere.
=)
I'm Done.
& i am grateful for what i have now.
every single one and thing.
{Monday, October 08, 2007 @ 2:32 PM}
Of all the things you could say.
of all the things you could say.Now what.
now what?
{Saturday, October 06, 2007 @ 3:12 PM}
My perception of life is going all haywire. Freaks the hell out of me sometimes.
Seeems like everything was in place one day and the next, Someone just had to shake the box and mess the whole damn thing again.
Reason why i'm afraid to commit.
Everything just crumbles when they're at their prime. In my point of view.
Things don't last long.. they just become so stale till both parties choose to neglect it since it ain't that appertising anymore.
My thoughts and perception of bonds were so much more innocent back when i didn't know nuts about the real world.
And it gets worse when i feel the way i think.
And when i just want to let the bond hang cause i don't know what to do with it.
Face it, we humans are attracted to beautiful things.
So if u ain't beautiful, you gotta try harder.
And what sucks is when you were beautiful once and people who were close to you got bored of it.
I'm always trying a lil' bit harder to find every bit of those genuine ties.
Funny thing is people do drift apart. No matter how genuine you think that thing is, you just drift apart.
Be it different schools or whatever, there's always something better out there.
And the ones you already got are just last season.
No matter how dearly i try to make it look like as if its all the same, it's fruitless.
Cause i am aware and i am just using words to blind me deeply.
Maybe it was too dear for me to just declare that its crumbling.
Or maybe i was just to engrossed with the terms used and that i wanted it to stay that way.
All good things come to an end.And it seems like i got a second shot at this thing again.
Like my music, i'm gonna play it laid back.
and i'll do Better.
We'll see the outcome as it appears.
No strings attached.
I'm bored of life.
Let's move on.
I'm done.
{Thursday, October 04, 2007 @ 9:13 AM}
Tagged by the infamous jumping minah. -_-
Lets go.
Layer 1: On the outside
Name: ejat shinoda! wooohooo!
Birth date: 14.12.1989
Current Status: Attached
Eye colour: Black
Hair Colour: Unfortunately, black.
Layer 2: On the inside
My heritage: Malay with a lil bit of chinese blood thanks to grandma on mums side. Cause of this, i'm cursed with super small eyes! -_-
My fears: Waking up one day to a world infested with zombies and that the only weapon that i have is a kitchen knife cause face it, you can't get guns in Singapore.EHH TAKNAK SIAL!
My weaknesses: Superman has kryptonite. i have balloons. They make the most painful-lest sound when its being rubbed. FUCK.
My perfect pizza: Those the Ninja Turtles eat! The cheese are actually dripping! *soulful eyes*
Layer 3: Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
My first thought of waking up: Nanti nak beli rokok ape ah?
My bedtime: I will either talk on the phone, chat or read a book till i fall asleep.
My most missed memories: Secondary school life. Where everything was simple. =)
Layer 4: My pick.
Pepsi or Coke: Coke for life miggah!
Single or group dates: with the right company, definitely group.
Adidas or Nike: When it comes down to shoes, both. But adidas sweaters are preferred though.
Vanilla or Chocolate: VANILLA
Cappuccino or Coffee: Neither. Tea.
Layer 5: Do you?
Smoke: NO! I'm underage for god sakes! What kind of a survey is this?! -_-
Do you Curse: Every fuckity fucking fucked up day. =)
Take a shower: Nahhh.. Prefers licking myself. What world are you living in?
Have a crush: Mary, Jessica Alba, Jessica Biel, Keira knightley, Kate hudson, KAT DE LUNA! =)
Go to school: Zaman bila mau skola babe! Temasek poly for myself please. =)
Believe in yourself: RARELY.
Think you're a health freak: Well i do avoid smoking and the bad stuffs that youths today are influenced by. =)
Layer 6: In the past
Drink alcohol: A sip. I swear.
Gone to the mall: Yessir.
Dyed your hair: Alot of times actually.
Layer 7: Have you ever..?
Played a stripping game: Saw two dudes stripped in front of me after that! =)
Change who you were to fit in: Oh god no. I'll change the group i'm fitting into. =)
Layer 8: Are you hoping to
Get married: Very much yes! and i want little ejat's running around! =)
Layer 9: In a partner
Best eye colour: Green on one, Blue on the other.
Best hair colour: Jet Black.
Long or short hair: Whatever you want honey. =)
Layer 10: What were you doing?
A minute ago: Answering "Layer 9: In a partner".
An hour ago: Scanning.
A Month ago: Finishing my last exam paper.
A Year ago: Rotting in the lecture theatre.
Layer 11: Finish the sentences..
I love: rapping
I hide: thoughts and feeling.
I miss: Iqah mamiqah, Sha2 and Azman! SUNDAY! =)
I need: nurhazimahbtemdvijaya.
Layer 12: Tag 5
Hazimah
Ayie
Nadia
Izzati
Sarah
Oh oh..
Its nice to know that theres someone there who would do anything to hide you from the cops if you ever murdered someone. =)
But i'm still dying your cat purple!
Ok done! =)
{Tuesday, October 02, 2007 @ 10:21 AM}
Let's take a step back from the fast-moving events and recollect.
Fact is, i'm puzzled by the way people react to situations.
And i'm further more baffled by the way they handle them.
Its to an extent where you have to put pride over your own self-being?
Quit the act.I have a few of my own agendas to settle with so pardon me if i don't roll with your attitude.
I choose to not say a word about this cause it'll only make me look hypocritical.
oh oh.. That means a Two Face S.O.B.
Get the picture?But note this, make your movement strong or i'll make it falter.
Pathethic and utter waste of time if you wanna do this for the sole purpose of 'HITTING' someone.
But since you're at it, put me down straight.
Cause i don't torture.
I kill.
OK!
On a lighter note, did i mention i almost fell to my death while doing some works at Batam?
THERES NO MORE PROPER LIGHTER NOTES IN LIFE.
Oh well.
Lets go back to the part of life where i actually enjoy mocking someone.
In the true words of an emcee,
BAKDATANG!
Ahhh yeee.. ejat dah noneng.
OK DONE! =)