*Confessions*
{Saturday, January 12, 2008 @ 12:24 PM}
No one told me it'll be this tough to separate the fake from genuine feelings.
The fact that everything seems right even though its fake.
Or that it has this whole fake outlook when its genuine.
What am i blabbering exactly?
to tell you the truth,
its all a blur.
to say that i did make a right turn would be an understatement
cause you're suppose to know what you're doing in order to call it right.
True?
but there's this beacon of hope that keeps telling me to pursue forward.
that i should let the road unwind itself.
even if the destination is somewhere i just don't wanna be.
again, what am i blabbering about?
to say that someone does understand me is an understatement.
cause after the layers of deception i've covered myself with, i think its rather impossible.
maybe one person does.
maybe she doesn't.
or maybe its just too much of a thing to think about that its better she avoids from getting her hands dirty?
maybe?
decisions have been made.
resolutions recited almost everyday.
but the effect isn't taking place.
it's like the essence to change isn't there.
there's no... soul?
or maybe no... commitment?
but what i'm sure of is.. i need a stronger backbone than what i have now.
this one is getting much too comfortable with the slow pace life.
maybe one day i'll live it on the fast lane and see how long i can last.
please don't try to understand all of this.
this are just impulsive words the brain chooses to release tension.
there is no link to anyone's life.
This is mine & MINE alone.
to tell you the truth,
i'm scared.
terrified.
petrified.
break this four walls and set me free.
or lock me up forever, go swallow that damn key.
all it took was one dream, one event and one conversation.
see how pathetic life can be.
